


Never Alone

by sweeterthankarma



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Feels, Found Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 16:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17389937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: It’s hard to describe what it’s like to be a sensate, but Nomi tries.





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the beginning of season 2 when Nomi and Amanita are doing research on homo sensoriums.

It’s hard to describe what it’s like to be a sensate, but Nomi tries. 

Amanita wants to know, she’s so curious, and Nomi can’t help but wonder why she was chosen instead of her; Neets would make an  _ amazing  _ sensate. But technically speaking, was she even technically chosen? Is that the right word? None of this stuff makes sense, even now after the extensive research they’ve done, and they’ve pulled all nighters, ordered far too much delivery food, and read more books in the past month than they had in their entire lives. Still, when Amanita asks what it’s like to feel what her cluster feels, Nomi draws a blank. 

She wishes Amanita had the opportunity to experience it, for the sake of her inquiry and Nomi’s intermediate vocabulary skills. She’s thinking she should get a dictionary and memorize at least a page each day, because every time she asks how it feels, the words she’s used her whole life just don’t seem to be adequate.

    “It’s weird,” she says for maybe the fifteenth time in today’s sad excuse for an explanation. There’s no other word to describe it, though, because it truly is the weirdest thing Nomi’s ever felt— and that’s saying something, because she lived a good portion of her life feeling like she was a mind trapped in the incorrect body. 

    “It’s like…my baggage, my trauma, all of the heavy, guilty stuff I’ve had to carry around my whole life…” she pauses, and looks up. She’s surprised to find that her eyes are a little distant, a little misty, but she shouldn’t be because they always are every time she entertains this powerful thought. “It’s not just mine anymore. I don’t have to hold all the weight.”

Amanita beams. “I’m glad,” she says, and Nomi knows she is, more than words can express. She sees it in the way she supports her, the way she believed her wholeheartedly and without question when she first admitted to feeling the actions and thoughts of someone else, halfway across the globe. 

Still, she hurries to rephrase herself, recognizing an error. The others are always listening, always feeling, always thinking whatever she does, and even if the current between them fluctuates and wavers in its intensity, Nomi never wants them to get the idea that she’s anything but grateful for each and every one of them. 

    “And I would never wish the shit I’ve had to deal with upon anyone, especially not them, but it’s not like I have a choice. None of us chose this, we’re stuck with it for better or worse. Though we’re definitely all better off.”

Across oceans, Nomi’s affection ripples into each of their hearts, a softness settling across their minds and bodies, whether they’re asleep or awake.

    “And I carry their shit, too,” she adds. “We all help each other get through.”

Amanita’s lips are pursed, her hands clasped before her. “That’s beautiful, Nom,” she says, and Nomi smiles at the sight of her fascination; her warm chocolate eyes are alight as she imagines it all. 

While Nomi doesn’t think she’ll ever be fully adjusted to having seven other people across the world in her mind and body, she’s grown rather accustomed to waking up in beds that aren’t her own and thinking in languages she’d never even heard before. It was all so foreign in the beginning, quite literally, but now she hardly even falters when she walks straight from her own kitchen to a street corner in Berlin. She feels the newborn thrill of the experience all over again through Neets’ wonder, visible in her excited expression, and she’s suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that this is her life, glorious and diverse and unlike anything she’d ever anticipated or dreamt of. 

    “You know, you never had to,” Amanita says then, breaking Nomi out of her own thoughts. Amanita is never surprised anymore when she’s talking to herself or staring dazed and disoriented at an invisible person in the corner. “Carry all the weight of your own shit, that is.”

Nomi bites her lip. She’s going to cry now for sure. 

    “I know.” 

She doesn’t have to say any more, Amanita pulls her in for a kiss and she meets her halfway. When their lips meet and her girlfriend’s arms wrap familiar around her waist, Nomi marvels all over again about how lucky she is to have people who understand her in so many different ways, in every way she needs them to. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr under the same username, sweeterthankarma, where I'm always in the mood to talk about Sense8 in any and every aspect. This show means the world to me and I'm never going to stop writing for it, or rewatching and getting inspired to write for it!


End file.
